For example, Julie didn’t talk very openly with Tom about what she wanted, sexually

For example, Julie didn’t talk very openly with Tom about what she wanted, sexually

For most people, their “normal” development into adult relationships cripples their capacity for moving beyond marital sex

She carried the residue of shame about revealing her sexual desires, shame that originated in her relationship with her mother. She was dealing with that in therapy, but that shame had joined with a still-existing view in our culture that a woman who expresses herself sexually must be a slut/whore. Moreover, Julie and Tom had descended into the low-level, adversarial power-struggle so typical of the functional relationship.

Sometimes marital sex includes a hook-up sexual experience-perhaps when on a vacation, or aided by ingesting substances, legal or illegal. Continue reading “For example, Julie didn’t talk very openly with Tom about what she wanted, sexually”